I’ve been thinking this AM how I’m still unsettled with last year. I wish I had done some of it differently. I have regrets about not opening up sooner and not pursuing vulnerability more…so on and so forth. There’s things about this year – the several months I wish I’d acted, said, responded differently.
So it isn’t time that moves me toward having no regrets or wishing I’d not changed anything. Now- on 5 November 2017, I’m still not exceedingly pleased with where I am and who I am.
Which makes me think – I’ll never be completely satisfied with how I’ve acted, behaved, responded or lack thereof.
Which- at first is discouraging – but it’s actually encouraging because this means I have more growth and more to learn. It’s an ever learning journey and I will never come to a place of complete succession.
Which means- I’m allowed to fail. I’m allowed to have regret, pain & wishing I’d acted or said otherwise. Looking back a month, week, day, year, or whatever – it’s okay because as long as I’m moving forward, it doesn’t matter whether I did it ‘right’. I can fall – I can screw up because there’s grace. Grace Papa has given me & grace I’m learning to give myself.
Success doesn’t mean never screwing up. Success is not playing it safe & being comfortable.
How will I know what it is to succeed if I don’t know what it is to fail? I must experience both & it’s actually making me a better version of myself to be okay with failure. I cannot know success until I know failure. And to know is to experience it again and again. And again.